Topical Tuesday 32 - My Grown Up Christmas List

When I was younger it was really easy for me to make my Christmas list. I would sit down with the JC Penny catalogue, go through it and write down all of the G.I. Joes that I wanted. That was it. The hardest part of making that list was deciding how to prioritize all of the G.I. Joes: did I want Snake Eyes more than Shipwreck?

Making a Christmas list is a little more difficult now that I’m older. It’s not difficult because I’m asking that no more lives would be torn apart or that wars would never start, it’s difficult because I have more expensive tastes and a budget to work within. When I was 9 G.I. Joes cost $4.00 so I was pretty sure I could get at least 5 or 6 for Christmas and feel really good about my presents. Now all the sweaters, watches, shoes and sunglasses I want cost more than $4.00, much more than $4.00. And on top of wanting more expensive gifts, I’ve also gotten to the point of adding items to my list that I need. That’s probably the most depressing part about being older at Christmas: toys and video games get exchanged for underwear and linens.

So here is my grown up Christmas list:

• Ray Ban Wayfarers
• A repair job for my broken PS3 (i.e. glorified Blu-Ray player)
• A new black watch, ideally a Movado but something from Diesel would do
• A bookcase
• Jameson Rarest Vintage Reserve Irish Whiskey
• Steve Madden shoes
• Space Catan
• Sweaters from Express or Banana Republic
• Anything Star Wars Adidas

I’m not really planning on getting any of those items and I’m all right with that. I knew I wouldn’t get all of the G.I. Joes I asked for but it was fun to dream. In the end, in spite of my older, more expensive tastes, I’d be satisfied with a Target gift card and world peace.

Music Monday 35 - New Christmas Classics

It’s the Christmas season and I finally got to start listening to Christmas music. In the days since Thanksgiving the soundtrack to my life has been filled with yuletide cheer and wintry carols. As we were listening to a holiday Genius playlist, my wife complained that there isn’t very much variety in Christmas music. I was about to object when I realized that there were four different versions of “The Christmas Song” on the playlist we were listening to.

There is so little variety in Christmas music because most new Christmas songs are terrible. There are so many viable Christmas songs, religious and secular alike, that we hardly need any new Christmas songs; this leads to a lack of variety. I’d rather stick to the homogenous nature of Christmas music, though, than embrace every artist’s attempt at creating a new Christmas classic.

However, there have been a few new Christmas songs that have crossed the line from flash-in-the-pan to true Christmas classic.

“All I Want For Christmas Is You” – Mariah Carey
Released in 1994, “All I Want For Christmas Is You” has become a modern-day classic. The holiday season now feels incomplete without Mariah Carey’s seminal pop offering. I worked at the Gap one Christmas and this song was on the loop; I grew to hate the song because I heard it 1,359 times during an 8-hour shift. But the song is so charged with holiday goodness, that I’ve grown to love it again. It’s also interesting to note that Mariah Carey’s husband, Nick Cannon, was 14 when this song was first released.

“Last Christmas” – Wham!
I wrote about this song last year because I absolutely love it. I wasn’t old enough to fully appreciate Wham! when they were still together but that doesn’t mean I don’t fully appreciate them now. “Last Christmas” is the perfect break-up Christmas song because it’s built upon the hope that next year there will be someone special. I can only hope that “Last Christmas” cements its status as a Christmas classic when it plays under another gasoline fight in Zoolander 2.

And that’s it. I can’t think of anymore Christmas songs that have become classics. In the past 26 years these are the only two songs that have ascended the musical Christmas tree to rest atop it like a knitted angel.

What songs have become Christmas classics for you?

Freeform Friday 18 - Pumpkin Pie

I don’t like pumpkin pie.

And maybe you don’t like pumpkin pie as much as you think you do.

I grew up eating my grandmother’s pumpkin pie every Thanksgiving. She would bake the pies, bring them from San Diego, and while my stomach was still bursting at the seams from turkey and stuffing, I would add a piece of pumpkin pie on top. For as long as I can remember we ate pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving; it was a tradition, as much a part of the fourth Thursday of November as turkey or stuffing. My only problem was that I didn’t care for the tradition of pumpkin pie; I didn’t really like it at all.

So two years ago as I was celebrating Thanksgiving with my sister in Texas, I told her that I wouldn’t be eating pumpkin pie and would appreciate if she made a pecan pie. Two years ago I took a stand and decided that I would no longer allow my Thanksgiving dessert choice to be dictated to me by convention and habit. I made the choice to break free from the bonds imposed on me by tradition and eat something other than pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving.

It has been wonderful.

Pumpkin pie is kind of gross. It’s cold. It’s mushy. It doesn’t have much flavor. I doubt that anyone would like pumpkin pie nearly as much as they do if it wasn’t so directly connected to the Thanksgiving holiday. Who in their right mind would choose a slice of cold, wet, bland pumpkin pie over a nice warm piece of pecan or apple pie à la mode?

I don’t doubt that you like pumpkin pie. But maybe you don’t like it as much as you think you do. Take away the warm, nostalgic feelings associated with pumpkin pie and what’s left? Something that came out of a can, gets dumped in a pie crust and is only made edible because of a mountain of whipped cream.

You may feel like I’m attacking your childhood but that’s only because pumpkin pie has such a strong emotional connection to the family celebrations of our past. Pumpkin pie isn’t awful but it’s made a lot better by all the memories attached to it. There are a lot of pies out there that are good enough to stand on their own without the support of nostalgia. I’m asking that you give one of them a shot next year.

How do you feel about pumpkin pie?

Theology Thursday 24 - A Theology of Thanksgiving

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. - James 1:17

Every good and perfect gift comes from God.

Thanksgiving is a day to reflect on the many things for which we’re thankful. Thankfulness is incomplete, though, if we don’t show gratitude to the ultimate source of everything good in our lives. We can appreciate the good things in our lives and enjoy them and revel in them, but that appreciation, enjoyment and revelry should always lead back to their source: the Father of heavenly lights.

I’m thankful for my wife, but God is the one who orchestrated our meeting and marriage.

I’m thankful for my family, but God is the one who placed me there at the beginning of my life.

I’m thankful for my friends, but God is the one who gives them enough grace and patience to put up with me.

I’m thankful for my job, but God is the one who called me from one place to another at the right time.

I’m thankful for the roof over my head, but God is the one who provides for all my needs.

So in the end, anything for which we’re thankful ultimately leads back to God. He is the source and we should humbly offer our gratitude to him. If we take time to think about what we have, we’ll most likely see that we’re blessed beyond measure. The blessings we receive have nothing to do with us or our intrinsic goodness; they are rooted in God’s grace and his intrinsic goodness.

Every good gift comes from God so all of our thanksgiving should be offered to him.

What are you most thankful for this year?

Leadership Wednesday 26 - Mexican Toilets

I don’t like cleaning toilets.

That’s not a very controversial statement. It’s not like I said, “I don’t like The Beatles” or “I don’t like pumpkin pie.” Nobody likes cleaning toilets. Nobody likes getting on their hands and knees and scrubbing away at the toilet bowl line that has been there since the last time there was company over. Nobody likes cleaning toilets which is why leaders have to be first in line with the yellow gloves and Mr. Clean.

I’ve been on countless short-term mission trips to Mexico with my church. I was a leader for a number of those trips and at the end of every trip we would have to clean up the mess we had made. We stayed at a church so that meant sweeping, mopping, cleaning the kitchen, washing windows, picking up trash and, of course, cleaning the bathrooms. Cleaning a bathroom is bad enough, but cleaning a bathroom that has just been used by 20 high school boys for a week would count as cruel and unusual punishment in most states. Cleaning the bathroom was the worst job, which is why I always tasked myself with leading the team that cleaned the bathroom.

As leaders we need to be willing to do the dirty jobs, the ones nobody wants to do. We have to set the example and show that, even though we’re the leaders, we’re still willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish the team’s goal. When I was younger I thought that leading meant telling everyone else what to do so I didn’t have to do anything myself. I’ve realized, though, that no one is going to listen to what I say unless I’m willing to roll up my sleeves and get to work. When we dig ditches, take out trash, stack chairs, or clean toilets, we show that we’re willing to do whatever it is we’re asking of those we lead. And when we set that example, those we lead will be more willing to do what we ask, even if it’s cleaning a toilet.

When have you been more willing to follow a leader who led by example?

Topical Tuesday 31 - Thanksgiving Dinner

This Thursday I’m going to eat a tremendous amount of food.

I love Thanksgiving; it is easily one of my favorite holidays. I enjoy spending time with family, I enjoy watching football, I enjoy the beginning of the holiday season but mostly I enjoy the food. I have been counting calories and watching what I eat for the better part of this year and I want that to continue through December and into the New Year. This Thursday, however, I won’t be counting calories as I enjoy all of my favorite foods of the Thanksgiving meal.


Stuffing
Stuffing is my favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal. Some people don’t like stuffing and to them I say, “Get a DeLorean and go back in time to the Soviet Union where you belong.” There is so much difference in opinion when it comes to stuffing because there are so many different types of stuffing: cornbread, sausage, mushroom, Stove Top. I am partial to my mom’s stuffing and I’m already excited to eat it. If you don’t like stuffing maybe it’s because your mom has a bad recipe; ask me for my mom’s recipe because it’s awesome…and American.


Turkey
I think we settled on the turkey for Thanksgiving because nothing looks better sitting on a table. Norman Rockwell wouldn’t have been inspired by a rare prime rib surrounded by decorative squashes. Turkey isn’t that great but it looks good roasted, feeds a lot of people and provides days’ worth of leftovers. Fried turkey tastes better than a roast turkey and isn’t as unhealthy as you might think. Either way, turkey is good for Thanksgiving unless you’re the turkey. And, if you are a turkey, pray to your turkey gods that you get the Presidential pardon.


Cranberry Sauce
Thanksgiving is full of foods that are only consumed on the fourth Thursday of November. I have never had cranberry sauce outside of Thanksgiving or Thanksgiving leftovers. I don’t even know if they sell it year-round or of it just makes a special appearance once a year like the McRib. Either way, there is no lazier side dish than cranberry sauce. A trained monkey could serve cranberry sauce as long as he knew how to work a can opener. Cranberry sauce is an afterthought of the Thanksgiving meal, proven by its presentation in the exact shape of the can in which it was packaged.

What part of the Thanksgiving meal are you most thankful for?

Music Monday 34 - The Beatles

I slept in last Tuesday and missed the hype leading to Apple’s announcement that The Beatles’ music was finally going to be available on iTunes. From what I saw on Twitter after the announcement, the announcement didn’t live up to the hype.

I have a confession to make: I don’t think The Beatles themselves live up to the hype.

I recognize that The Beatles are one of the most influential bands ever and that music today would be much different if they had never existed. That being said, I’ve just never really found the time to get into their music. I wasn’t introduced to them at an early age and, by the time I could make my own musical choices, I had already decided to make U2 the center of my musical universe.

So I find myself in a weird place of recognizing the greatness of The Beatles without actually acting upon that knowledge. I’ve got some of their songs in my iTunes but I rarely go out of my way to listen to their music. So I end up just nodding my head when people talk about how good The Beatles are without having any idea what they’re talking about.

What position do The Beatles hold in your musical universe?

Theology Thursday 23 - 10%/90%

In Acts 4 we see the early church surrendering what they own to God, selling what they have in order to give to the church and meet the needs of others. As I was reading through this chapter I began to think of my own generosity to God and whether or not my possessions are surrendered to him.

By the grace of God I have been faithfully tithing for almost two years. It’s a good feeling to read through a passage like Acts 4 and realize that I have been faithful to God in my finances; he asks for 10% and he gets 10%. When it comes to tithing, I’ve always viewed that first 10% as God’s and then the other 90% as mine. Recently, though, I began to see that none of it is mine; the 10% or the 90%.

If I want to be faithful to God with my possessions and finances I can’t give him 10% and spend the other 90% on hookers. I can’t write my tithe check and then cash out everything else and hit the bar for one wild night. Everything I have belongs to God and I need to make sure that I’m spending and budgeting in a way that honors him, with the 10% and the 90%.

The 10% is easy; that automatically goes to God. It’s more challenging to look at the remaining 90% and see how God could be glorified through what remains of his provision. It may be more challenging, but it’s also has the potential to be 9 times more rewarding.

How do you strive to honor God with the remaining 90%?

Leadership Wednesday 25 - Seth Godin

I was speaking with my supervisor today when he brought up Seth Godin. I have a confession to make:

I don’t like Seth Godin.

Now to be fair to Seth (not that he cares an iota what I think about him), my attitude about him is based on a single talk I heard him give at the Catalyst Conference in Atlanta. I may have been tired from staying up too late to watch the Cubs in the NLDS, but I wasn’t that intrigued by what he said and I was distracted by the number of images in his PowerPoint.

I’m beginning to realize, though, that I should give Seth a second chance. A lot of people I respect consider his blog a must-read every day. As a leader I need to be willing to swallow my pride, get beyond an initial impression and admit that I might have missed something the first time around. Seth Godin may end up being my own personal Yoda: I underestimated him at first but he could end up being one of my greatest teachers.

Have you ever written someone off only to change your mind and learn from him or her?

Topical Tuesday 30 - Men's Retreat

This past weekend I went to our church’s men’s retreat and had a great time. The only problem was that I wasn’t expecting to have a great time.

A few months ago I was invited to give two talks at the men’s retreat and I agreed (I have a hard time saying “no” when someone asks me to speak). Unfortunately, as the weekend drew nearer, I realized that my attitude about the retreat was getting worse. I wasn’t looking forward to the retreat and I was beginning to regret that I had agreed to speak. In my mind I was coming up with all sorts of excuses for why I didn’t want to go.

I was busy and didn’t want to spend a weekend away from home.

It wasn’t going to be much of a retreat for me because I had to worry about speaking.

It was going to be emotionally draining spending time with that many men and having to play “pastor” all weekend.

These excuses had left me with a terrible attitude; all last week I would complain to anyone who would listen. Then some time on Friday as I was getting ready for the weekend, I realized that I should probably have a better attitude about the weekend. My bad attitude was going to get in the way of anything good happening for me or through me and it needed to change. So I set my mind to changing my attitude and it changed.

I had a great weekend even though I wasn’t at home.

I felt refreshed from the time away even though I had to speak.

I shook off the role of “pastor” and just enjoyed myself hanging out with the guys.

We like to think that our attitudes are dictated by external forces, that if we have a bad attitude it’s because of something else “out there.” The reality is we have way more control over our attitudes than we would like to admit. We can determine whether or not we’re going to have a good attitude or a bad attitude regardless of external forces. We just have a hard time admitting that because it means we have to take responsibility for our attitudes.

And while it’s true that we have to then take responsibility for our attitudes, it’s also true that we can find the power to change those attitudes for the better. We have the power to respond to the promptings of the Holy Spirit and change our attitudes. I’m grateful for this ability because it led me to have a great weekend at the men’s retreat, made even greater because my bad attitude had kept me from expecting it.

When have you convinced yourself to change your attitude?

Music Monday 33 - Christmas Temptation

I am a tempted man.

I feel like Joseph standing before Potiphar’s wife, with her giving me the eye and that “come hither” look.

I’m not being tempted towards infidelity against my wife. I’m being tempted towards infidelity against my own standards and principles.

Over the past few years I have clearly defined my personal standard on when it’s appropriate to begin listening to Christmas music. There is a certain season for Christmas music, which begins after Thanksgiving dinner and continues through Christmas day. Outside of that time period, Christmas music should not be played and it should be avoided at all costs.

Not only have I laid down this standard for my life, but I have also been very vocal about this standard. I posted to this blog about it, I have told friends my views, I have told people I don’t know my views and I have loudly ranted against the practice of playing Christmas music too early when I hear it the day after Halloween. However, now that I have taken this firm stand, I am being tempted to listen to Christmas music early.

I want to make a Genius playlist based off of Little Drummer Boy.

I want to hear Old Blue Eyes singing The Christmas Song.

I want to pretend not to like All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carey but secretly listen to it in my truck.

Alas, it’s only November 15 and Thanksgiving is 10 days away. So even though I’m being tempted, almost beyond what I can bear, I need to stay strong. I could fire up my iPod, plug in my headphones, get lost in my own personal winter wonderland and no one would know. I could compromise my standards, abandon my principles and begin listening to Christmas music right now. But like any sin, if I give early Christmas music listening that foothold in my life, who knows where I’ll end up? It starts with Last Christmas on November 15 but ends with Baby, It’s Cold Outside in the middle of July.

When do you start listening to Christmas music?

Freeform Friday 17 - The Grace of God

Andy Stanley is one of my very favorite communicators; I have heard him speak numerous times at the Catalyst Conference. He brings new light to scripture as he draws insight for the Christian life and leadership that I had never seen before. Most of my interaction with Stanley’s thoughts and ideas have been within the realm of leadership, so I was excited to read a book of his that fell outside those boundaries. The Grace of God is not a leadership manual but an examination of biblical history and God’s grace which runs through it.

In The Grace of God, Stanley turns his keen exegesis to the subject of grace instead of leadership. He examines how the grace of God was present from the Garden through the early church and beyond. The book shows how God’s grace has always been present and highlights the lessons we can learn about grace from people like Rahab, Jonah and the repentant thief crucified alongside Jesus

There wasn’t anything particularly earth-shattering or paradigm-shifting in The Grace of God. The book feels like a sermon series on grace that was turned into a book. That isn’t a slight against the book; if it is based on sermons then they were great sermons. A book like this, though, seems to be more encouraging and edifying than thought-provoking and challenging. As an encouraging and edifying book about God’s grace, though, The Grace of God does superb job of examining grace biblically and applying those lessons to our everyday lives.

This book was provided for me free by Thomas Nelson Publishers.

Theology Thursday 22 - Average Expressions of Love

Six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus lived, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. Here a dinner was given in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, while Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with him. Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.

But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected, “Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages.” He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.

“Leave her alone,” Jesus replied. “It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial. You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me.” – John 12:1-8

I preached a sermon on this passage and suggested that Jesus was worthy of extravagant expressions of love. Just like Mary extravagantly expressed her love for Jesus by washing his feet with expensive perfume, we should be willing to extravagantly express our love for Jesus in any way we can. This isn’t so much a reflection of us, but a response to who Jesus is and everything he has done for us. He came to the earth, ushered in the kingdom of God and made reconciliation with God possible through his death and resurrection. Jesus has done everything for us and he is definitely worthy of extravagant expressions of love.

As I reread this passage, though, I began to realize that often times I’m not ready to give Jesus extravagant expressions of love because I’m not giving him average expressions of love. Looking at Mary’s sacrifice it’s easy to think that we should go out and do something completely extravagant and over the top for Jesus like donating a large sum of money to World Vision or signing up for a long-term mission trip. But how can I think about giving Jesus extravagant expressions of love when I’m not even giving him average expressions of love?

Reading the Bible.

Spending time in prayer.

Obedience.

These are some average expressions of love, the things that we should do on a regular basis to show Jesus that we love him. If my life has been less than obedient then how can I expect to really offer an extravagant expression of love to Jesus? What’s worse, is that if my life has been lacking average expressions of love then I might try to cover up that fact with some extravagant expressions of love.

Jesus deserves our everything because he gave his everything. Sometimes, though, we get so focused on giving him the big, extraordinary things, that we miss giving him the small, pedestrian things. Average expressions of love should be the prerequisite for extravagant expressions; if I can’t spend time in prayer on a daily basis then I should figure that out before moving onto something bigger. Something bigger only happens a few times a year, like an anniversary or Valentine’s Day in a marriage. We shouldn’t simply hold out for the extravagant expressions of love for Jesus, but should strive for average expressions of love for Jesus on a daily basis.

Leadership Wednesday 24 - Cross My Heart, Hope To Die

In a recent episode of Modern Family the Dunphy family competes to see who can abstain from technology like cell phones, computers and video games the longest. To sweeten the competition the parents, Phil and Claire, promise to reward their children if one of them wins; to their oldest daughter Haley they promise a car. Much to the dismay of Phil and Claire, Haley wins the competition and expects to be rewarded with a car. As the episode ends, however, Phil and Claire tell Haley that they didn’t mean what they had said and she wouldn’t be getting a car.

As leaders, when we make a promise, those we lead expect us to follow through on that promise. Our leadership can’t be like the recently concluded elections, full of hollow promises that never go anywhere. People are jaded by politicians because they hear all the promises but never see those promises fulfilled. This promise unfulfillment is almost expected in politics but shouldn’t be present in our leadership.

When we commit to something, when we promise something, we need to follow through on that commitment or promise. If we’re unsure if we can follow through on something, then we shouldn’t commit to or promise it. It’s tempting to promise those we lead the world, to show them that we’re moving forward; but if we can’t follow through on that promise we’ll hurt our credibility and damage the relationship.

When talking about the future or the potential for whatever endeavor we’re on, we should be honest about the potential and hopeful for what’s in store. But we can’t create a false sense of momentum and excitement by promising things we’re not sure we can fulfill. As leaders we need to create a picture for the future we’re trying to create without manipulating those we lead with hollow promises and empty commitments. We need to invite those we lead to help make that future a reality and commit ourselves to them instead of some motivating but ill-conceived promise.

Topical Tuesday 29 - Call of Duty Season

Call of Duty: Black Ops came out today and Twitter and Facebook were all abuzz. I was even reading tweets from people waiting in line for a midnight release so they could play it as soon as legally possible. As I laid down to go to sleep an hour before the game released at midnight, I realized that I’m not in my early 20s anymore and my life is significantly different than it was at the turn of the millennium.

In 2002 I would have been standing in line at midnight, waiting to get my hands on the newest and greatest video game. Even three years ago when Halo 3 came out, I was standing outside Gamestop until midnight, waiting to get my hands on Master Chief’s final fight. Now, though, with a career and a wife, those days seem so far away. The days of 5 hour gaming marathons that begin at 10:00pm are long gone; that’s just not my life anymore. And even though I love my life now, when I see a bunch of 21 and 22-year-olds staying up late playing video games, it makes me think fondly on that part of my life.

There’s a difference between thinking fondly on a period and attempting to recreate that period. When we try to recreate a period of time or a season of our lives, we end up neglecting our present for a past that can never occur again.

I often feel this way about ministry.

Six years ago I was in the middle of an amazing season of ministry, working alongside some of my best friends and making a difference for God’s kingdom. That was an amazing season but it’s gone; it can never happen again. And instead of thinking about those days and trying to recreate them in my current ministry context, I need see what new thing God wants to do today. I’m on a great team and God wants to use us to make a difference for his kingdom. Why would I hold onto the past when God has an amazing present and future already laid out?

What part of your past do you think about holding onto?

Music Monday 32 - SMS (Shine)

It’s easy to populate a list of my favorite music videos.

Thriller. Sabotage. Take on Me. Virtual Insanity. Like a Prayer.

I think I’m going to have to make room on that list for David Crowder Band’s video for SMS (Shine).



The video is impressive for a number of different reasons. The video was created without the use of digital effects and took 2,150 man hours to complete. And while the production is impressive, I am more struck by the beauty and emotion of the video.

I can’t think of any music video which has elicited as much of an emotional response as the video for SMS (Shine) has. Sure Thriller is an amazing music video and Sabotage is hilarious, but there was never a deep, moving, emotional connection with those videos. SMS (Shine) makes me feel something. It helps me to see not only the beauty in life but also the beauty in loss. Life inevitably leads to loss, but when we lose something, the loss provides the opportunity for new life once again.

I know I’ve had these thoughts before, but to have them spurred in such beautiful and visually stimulating way almost makes them new again.

What music videos have connected with you over the years?