Topical Tuesday 07 - We Want Prenup! We Want Prenup!

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom got married this past weekend. It was quite the stunning turn for the reality television star and the professional basketball player. They had only been dating for a month before they decided to get married. There was some speculation that it was just a publicity stunt to garner more attention for Kardashian’s show but the couple actually went through with the marriage, even without a solid prenuptial agreement. It was reported that Odom wanted to draw up a strong prenuptial agreement before the wedding but that was impossible due to how quickly everything happened. It was also impossible to push the wedding back since the producers of Kardashian’s television show were footing the bill for the $1 million wedding. Is this really what marriage has come to?

When God instituted marriage he didn’t have anything like the Kardashian/Odom marriage in mind.

Marriage is about knowing someone as deeply as we know ourselves.

Marriage is about binding our lives to the life of another person, forever.

Marriage is about a life-long commitment that shouldn’t be stepped into lightly.

I don’t know much about Khloe Kardashian’s and Lamar Odom’s worldviews but I imagine they don’t necessarily fall in line with my own. I can’t expect them to place the same value upon marriage that I do because we are coming from entirely different places. Looking at their marriage, though, provides a good opportunity to examine my own views on marriage. Their marriage provides a good opportunity to ponder my own worldview without attacking theirs.

I can’t imagine marrying someone I’d only known for a month. After knowing someone for a month I’m not even sure if I want to share a pizza with them, much less a life. It takes time to build quality relationships and marriage is supposed to be the most quality of relationships. I’ve heard stories about people who met and married in a whirlwind, just a matter of days, and went on to have great, life-long marriages. Those are definitely the exception, though, not the norm. A marriage needs to be built upon a quality relationship that is built over time.

I use to not understand why people took such offense to prenuptial agreements. Then I learned what a prenuptial agreement was and I began to understand. A prenuptial agreement just seems like the wrong way to begin a life-long commitment. It’s like committing to somebody forever but having a contingency plan just in case it doesn’t work out. When skydiving it’s a good idea to have a back up parachute, but in marriage it’s like coming out of the gate limping. A prenuptial agreement weakens the marriage’s foundation and begins spreading seeds of doubt, even before the wedding day. A prenuptial agreement is a completely selfish document that says I care more about my stuff than I do my commitment to my spouse; that just doesn’t seem like the best beginning possible. Also, I’m poor, so maybe that’s why a prenuptial agreement doesn’t mean anything to me.

I really don’t care that much about Khloe Kardashian’s marriage to Lamar Odom. I suppose I care about their marriage because I care about the institution and I don’t want to see any marriage fail, ever. Marriage was instituted by God as the deepest of all human relationships. We need to take marriage seriously and allow the different marriages we see, in our lives and through media, to push us to examine our own views of marriage. If you’re married, it’s important to continually evaluate your marriage and why you’re continuing to invest in your spouse and your marriage. If you’re planning on being married someday, marriage is something we need to thoroughly think through before saying “I do.”

What examples, positive or negative, have shaped your views on marriage?