Earlier this year I started receiving Us Weekly. I never paid to get Us Weekly and none of my friends have confessed to getting me the subscription. I thought that it might be one of those four-week subscriptions, but when it showed up on week five that theory went out the window. So, for the past few months, I have been able to see a new cover story every week about the newest gossip for some celebrity or semi-celebrity. I’m not that fascinated with celebrities or the stories surrounding their lives, especially when it comes to the Gosselins. Jon and Kate were on the cover for five or six weeks straight and I didn’t really care; though I’d still like to adopt Aaden because he’s an awesome kid and I’d be a much better father than Jon, mostly because I don’t wear Ed Hardy. The Gosselins didn’t make the cover of Us Weekly this week but America’s sweetheart, Britney Spears, and her new man did.
According to the cover of Us Weekly, Britney Spears has a new man in her life. I have managed to avoid the article itself but the headlines on the cover mention a new love, a sexy weekend in Mexico and some serious conversations. The cover also said that this man is the one man who has never betrayed Britney. I’ve been staring at the cover for three days now and I can’t stop thinking about that sentence: “the one man who has never betrayed Britney.” I think I’m consumed by that sentence because it presumes that Britney is the victim, that she didn’t do anything to bring those difficult times upon herself. She is the one who chose to marry Kevin Federline and she is also the one who allowed men like Adnan Ghalib into her life. So while there may have been some people in her life who took advantage of her, which is wrong, she’s not a completely innocent victim; she made choices and suffered the consequences of those choices.
One of the lessons my parents taught me, time and time again, was that of personal responsibility. They taught me that I am personally responsible for my actions; no one else is to blame for the choices I make. Britney Spears made choices and has had to deal with the consequences; she probably has taken complete responsibility for them, but Us Weekly seems to be pushing them off on anyone else but her. And while we may never be on the cover of Us Weekly (I hope I’m never on the cover of a gossip magazine), like Britney we have to take responsibility for our own actions. We’re surrounded by a culture that looks to blame anyone else for our choices; we avoid personal responsibility like the plague or even the swine flu. We don’t want to accept the consequences that stem from the choices we make so we blame others for those choices. Accepting personal responsibility for our actions, though, is a huge step toward being who God wants us to be.
If we can’t take personal responsibility for our actions, we’re never going to really look at ourselves. We’ll always be focused on those around us, trying to figure out how we can blame them for our faults and failings; blaming other people for our faults keeps us from addressing them. If we don’t acknowledge our own faults and growing edges, then we’re never going to do anything to better ourselves; we’re never going to create space for the Holy Spirit to grow and work within us. We’ll be stunted individuals who are still trying to make excuses for why our hand is in the cookie jar. We’ll never experience the freedom that comes from acknowledging our weaknesses and growing beyond them; the freedom that comes from taking personal responsibility for the wrong things we’ve done and never doing them again.
God created us to be open, honest individuals; something that was much easier in the Garden before the Fall. It’s easy to be open and honest when there isn’t any sin or brokenness. In spite of the Fall and the personal brokenness it has wrought in our lives, we should still strive to be open and honest, which includes taking responsibility for our actions. It’s true that terrible things can happen and there are situations when we are nothing but innocent victims. But for all the other situations, when we’re tempted to play the victim and blame someone else, we need to start with the person in the mirror and ask him or her to make a change. When we do that, we’re liberated to live more in tune with how God created us, acknowledging our flaws but always pressing forward and moving beyond them.
What value do you see in taking personal responsibility for your actions?
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