I recently had the opportunity to visit a high school to speak at its Christian club. Even though I work with high school students and enjoy speaking to people, I was really uncomfortable. As soon as I stepped onto the campus I felt like a fish out of water, like I didn’t belong, and at any moment all the students would realize I didn’t belong and mock me accordingly. In a flash I felt like a timid, nerdy freshman again, avoiding eye contact and attempting to go unnoticed.
And while I didn’t necessarily enjoy the experience, it was a good experience.
At this point in my life I’m fairly comfortable at church and in settings related to church. Whether that’s running youth group, preaching in main service, meeting with other youth pastors or going to a conference, I feel like I belong; I am confident that I’m supposed to be there. Walking around on that high school campus, though, that confidence slipped away. I realized that in a very specific pond I feel like a big fish but there are plenty of other ponds where I’m nothing but a guppy.
It’s good for leaders to spend some time in another pond and realize that we’re probably not the fish we think we are. Staying in the same pond, I can begin to get a distorted image of myself; I can see myself as a pretty big fish. I’m not a big fish, though; I’m just a small fish who feels comfortable and knows my way around a certain pond. Hopping into another pond is like a cold splash of reality; that new pond reminds me of who I really am.
But who I really am isn’t all that bad: I’m not a guppy but I’m not a marlin either. God’s the one who has placed me in the pond where he wants me, the one where he thinks I can be most effective. Any effectiveness I have, though, isn’t going to come from trying to be a big fish in that pond; it’s going to come from relying on God to use me as he sees fit.
When have you ever jumped into a different pond and felt completely out of place?
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