Topical Tuesday 35 - 9,000 Pageviews

Below is a graph of the traffic on this blog from last week.


You’ll notice that it had somewhat of a steep peak on January 30 around 6:00pm. The post in question can be read here and now has over 9,200 pageviews; obviously this nothing to do with me since that post beat my previous best by over 9,000 pageviews.

However, based upon my experience, I have put together a step-by-step guide for getting over 9,000 pageviews or more for your blog.

Step 1: Insult someone on Twitter with over 380,000 followers.

Now this may seem like the easiest step, but it takes some effort. Not everyone with that many followers will see your tweet, much less care about it. The insult has to be worth a response; if not, it will just disappear into the Internet.

Step 2: Receive completely justified hate from the followers of the person you insulted.

This is one of the most exciting parts of the process. Suddenly when checking Twitter your mentions will go through the roof. You’ll have people mentioning you that you’ve never met. Chances are most won’t have the kindest things to say, but at least they’re saying something, right?

Step 3: Write a response to the situation you’ve created and post it to your blog.

Now there are a couple different ways you can go here. You can respond like all those throwing fireballs at you, spilling out levels of vitriol usually saved for jilted lovers. Or you can take the high road and try to respond in a way that will foster reconciliation. Either way, how you respond isn’t as important as whether or not your response gets noticed.

Step 4: Get the person you insulted to share the link to your blog to his or her over 380,000 followers.

Unfortunately this step is completely out of your control. Your response, vehement or penitent, will most likely fall upon deaf ears. Should it get noticed, though, and shared with a large number of people, there’s a good chance that you’ll be on your way to over 9,000 pageviews.

So that’s my step-by-step guide for getting over 9,000 pageviews.

Honestly, though, I have no idea what alignment the planets were in to get that many eyeballs onto my words. In the end, I can only hope others can learn from my mistake and that in some way God was glorified because of my failings.

Now, if I could get another 9,000 pageviews for doing something positive, I’d be all for it.