Leadership Wednesday 03 - Leader in Training

Over the weekend I met someone new and I was introduced as a “minister in training.” It was a good-natured rib to which I didn’t take offense. Thinking about it, though, it would have been very easy to take offense at being labeled a “minister in training.” My business card doesn’t say “minister” on it but it does say “pastor.” I have been involved in ministry for over 10 years; I have had a lot of on-the-job training. I have been professionally trained by Fuller Theological Seminary; I studied for three years to earn the title, no matter how pretentious, Master of Divinity. It would be easy for me to think that after all this experience, all this schooling and two years as a full-time pastor that I would be beyond the training phase. The reality for leaders, though, is that we’re never fully beyond the training phase.

When I was 19-years-old I had been doing ministry for two years and I thought I knew everything. I really thought I was God’s gift to ministry and that there wasn’t anything I didn’t know.

My ideas were the best.

My ideas were the brightest.

My ideas most reflected the character and heart of God.

Obviously, none of those were true. I was 19 and I really didn’t know anything, especially how to hold a learning posture. I thought that two years of training were adequate; I didn’t need to be trained, I didn’t need to learn and I didn’t need to listen to anyone. At that moment, at that age, with my experience, I was ready to be the next great leader for God’s kingdom.

Looking back, I wish I understood then what I know now:

A leader’s learning process is never over.

Never.

Maintaining a learning posture is a vital component of effective leadership. We need to be willing to learn from others: from their experiences, from their successes and from their failures. If we’re not inputting new ideas then we’re just going to continue outputting the same ideas and insights. Those ideas and insights may have worked a year ago, they may have worked six months ago, but we need to keep adding to our knowledge base to meet new issues or readdress old issues from a new perspective.

I have the honor and privilege of meeting with some wonderful people who view me as some sort of mentor. Over the last few months I began to realize in my discussions with them that I was sounding a lot like a broken record. I wasn’t gathering any new input into my life so I had no new ideas to share, no new insights to bring to the table. I realized that I wasn’t being a good steward of the respect given to me and of the opportunity to speak into the life of another person. Armed with that realization, I decided to take a learning posture and spend an hour reading every day, just to garner some more knowledge and gain some new input. I want to expand my knowledge base so that I’ve got something more to give.

So how do we take and maintain a learning posture? Here are three ways.

Read something worthwhile every day.

Reading is so important for the life of a leader. Former White House Advisor, David Gergen, said “Not every reader is a leader but every leader is a reader.” There is a wealth of information out there, all sorts of new input that can shape our ideas and insight; we just need to read it. Read a nonfiction book on leadership. Read a fiction book that addresses the human condition. Find the blog of a pastor or CEO whom you admire and bookmark it. Sign up for Twitter and follow people who use their tweets to disseminate valuable information, not just that they’re standing in line at Starbucks. Here are some people who are worth following for the information that they share: Michael Hyatt, Rick Warren, Mike Foster.

Spend time with other leaders.

Some of the best insight I’ve gained about leadership hasn’t come from a conference or a structured meeting; it has come over an impromptu cup of coffee or a quick lunch during a break from the office. If there is someone in your life from whom you would like to glean new ideas and insight, call him or her up. Set up a lunch or schedule a coffee appointment. It doesn’t have to be a structured interview about different facets of leadership; just spend time with a knowledgeable, growing leader and you’re bound to learn something worthwhile.

Learn from anyone and everyone.

It is impossible to have a learning posture and still say, “I can’t learn anything from that person.” We can learn leadership lessons from anyone and everyone at all times; we just have to be willing to learn them. From the lowest person on the totem pole to the person at the top, everyone has something to teach if we have a learning posture. We need to humble ourselves and realize that we don’t know everything, we can’t know everything. And, even if we don’t particularly like someone else, that doesn’t mean we can’t learn from them.

If we are leaders then we are still in training and will be until the day we die; the onus is on us to recognize and embrace that fact. If we can’t, our knowledge base will continue to shrink as the world continues to grow and we’ll begin to sound like a broken record to those we lead. If we can, then we’re only limited by the time we commit and our ability to continually apply what we’ve learned. The opportunity to lead is a wonderful gift and an invaluable honor. We will make the most of that opportunity if we maintain a learning posture and embrace the reality that we’ll always be in training.

Topical Tuesday 03 - Ted Kennedy and Pink Elephants

I did not major in political science. I do not watch CNN or Fox News all afternoon, garnering every bit of political insight and knowledge. In spite of my political shortcomings, I did manage to hear about the death of Ted Kennedy and even watched parts of some retrospectives on his life. I never met Ted Kennedy and I have never lived in Massachusetts, but I do know that he was a long-standing senator who really cared about those in need and thought that the American government should be at the forefront of seeking justice. He was a great senator but, in spite of everything he did, there are qualifiers tagged onto his legacy. Most of those qualifiers stem from the Chappaquiddick incident and his connection with rape allegations brought against his nephew, William Kennedy Smith.

I’ve no desire to debate the efficacy of Kennedy as a senator nor do I want to tarnish his image. Looking at his death, though, can push us to think about our own and the legacy which we would like to leave behind. Our legacy is a difficult thing to think about. When I was younger it was almost impossible for me to think beyond myself and the day I was living. I couldn’t comprehend how my actions would influence others in my life and those coming after me. The decisions I made as a high school student in our church’s youth group would create and affirm a culture that would be passed down to the students following after me; this was a reality lost on me no matter how hard my youth pastor tried to get me to see it. I simply couldn’t wrap my mind around the concept of a legacy and whether or not there would be any qualifiers tied to that legacy.

Whenever I think about death and legacy, my mind always turns to my funeral and how I want to be remembered. What is the funeral or memorial service going to be like? How many people will be there? Will they play “I Can Only Imagine” instead of “Where the Streets Have No Name” and cause me to roll over in the casket right there in front of everyone? Will there be any pink elephants in the room that everyone avoids as they step up to the microphone?

“Scott was a great person, except for the alcoholism.”

“Scott was a great pastor, except he cared more about his own glory than God’s.”

“Scott was a great husband, except for all those times he cheated on his wife.”

I want my funeral to be a celebration of my life and all the things for which God was gracious enough to use me. I know that I won’t have as much influence as Ted Kennedy, my legacy won’t cast as long a shadow and won’t impact as many people. Even so, I want my legacy, no matter how small and insignificant, to be free from qualifiers; at my funeral I don’t want there to be any pink elephants in the room.

So how do we ensure a qualifier-free funeral? I think we need to live every day thinking about how that day is going to affect our legacy. Honestly, most days won’t be that legacy-altering; in 60 years no one is going to care if I eat at Wahoo’s today or if I paid close attention in staff meeting yesterday. But if we’re thinking about how every day can affect our legacy, when those legacy-altering moments come, we’ll be ready for them.

When we face a crisis situation and we have to respond, we’ll be ready to act rightly and build our legacy.

When we face temptations that could throw off the course of our lives, we’ll be ready to act rightly and build our legacy.

When we face difficult choices, we’ll be ready to act rightly and build our legacy.

Nobody is perfect. If I really wanted to make a list of the good things I’ve done and the bad things I’ve done, even at the end of my life, the bad list would be at least 4 kajillion times longer. But, for the overall direction of my life and the choices I’ve made, I want to leave a positive legacy. And not just a positive legacy, but a legacy free from any major qualifiers stemming from poor choices and stupid mistakes. I want a pink elephant-free legacy.

What legacy do you want to leave and how can you leave it?

Music Monday 03 - Break-Up Music

Getting dumped sucks. I remember the first time I got dumped; things were not going well in the months that followed. After getting dumped it takes some time to heal, to get beyond the wounds and be all right again. I needed friends with whom I could hang out and I needed family members to offer me encouragement; in reality, I needed a lot. One of the most important things I needed, though, was an outlet for my emotions. Any time we’re facing any sort of emotional rush, whether that be sadness, anger, loss or heartache, we need an outlet for those emotions. Music can provide that outlet.

Music can have a powerful affect on our emotions. Music can dictate our emotions; it can influence how we feel. Conversely, our emotions can dictate the kind of music to which we listen. Music can provide the release we need when our emotions are welling up within us; music provides an outlet for joyful expressions as well as painful ones. Music is powerful but it shouldn’t replace actual interaction with people. When facing emotional turmoil we need to seek out other people, but music provides another way to express our emotions in addition to relationships. When I got dumped and I was angry, Linkin Park became that expression for me.

I’m kind of a sissy and I don’t like that much hard music. Linkin Park is probably one of the hardest bands I like, which isn’t saying very much; I don’t really need any Pantera, ICP or Slipknot. Even though Linkin Park isn’t that hard, the band provided a good emotional outlet for me. In the months following the break-up I was listen to Meteora all the time. I liked lyrics that said, “Sometimes I need you to stay away from me.” I also liked the line, “Let me take back my life, I’d rather be left alone.” And I especially enjoyed screaming, “All I want to do is be more like me and be less like you.” I was hurt from being dumped, I was angry at being dumped, and lyrics like that provided a healthy outlet for those emotions. Again, music shouldn’t be the only outlet but, for a little while, it was nice to drive along, shouting out those lyrics at the top of my lungs. It made me feel better.

That is one of the best aspects of music, its ability to provide a little release and make us feel better. Whether we’re a little angry or a little sad, music can make us feel better. Obviously we need more than music to address the issues in our lives, whether that is sadness over a loss or anger over a break-up. I eventually got out of my funk over the break-up by hanging out with friends and spending an afternoon with my grandparents; given the choice, I would choose human interaction over the solace of my iPod every time. But there isn’t any harm in using music to temporarily let off some steam or improve our mood; those are a two of music’s many functions. So if you need to let off some steam, roll down the windows, turn up the volume and sing it out; you’ll feel better and you’ll brighten the day of the person sitting next to you at the stop light.

When you’re angry, what music helps you let off some steam?

Freeform Friday 02 - Between Wyomings

Between Wyomings is Ken Mansfield’s memoir of his life and times in the music industry and his reflections of God based upon those experiences. Mansfield is a former record executive and producer who has worked with some of the largest names in the music world, most notably The Beatles. Mansfield set out on a year-long road trip with his wife to revisit the places of his past and, in some ways, bring closure to the storylines that those places represented. In Between Wyomings, Mansfield swings like a pendulum between recounting the stories of his past and giving an almost stream of conscious play-by-play of his thoughts with God.

Between Wyomings is at its best when Mansfield is telling stores and anecdotes from his past, discussing bands that he helped form and artists that he produced. It is interesting to read the reflections of a now devoted Christian on the excesses of his past. And even though Mansfield drops names, he never does it to simply drop names; all of his stories serve a purpose, even if that’s just to gain insight into his life that was and how it has affected his life that is.

However, when the pendulum swings to the other end, to the somewhat rambling interactions with God, Between Wyomings loses some steam. There are not a lot of these sections in the book, most of them appear in the first half, but when they came, I would find myself wishing Mansfield would get back to the stories. As a journey of self discovery, though, I can see how these sections are vital and important to his process. Mansfield needed to wrestle with some rambling thoughts in order to arrive at his goal of a more complete, more whole person.

Midway through the book, the stories and the ramblings begin to meet in the middle as they both gain more purpose: the stories cease to be simple anecdotes and become life altering events while the ramblings gain more focus and begin to highlight ways we can practically connect with God. That may be the greatest treasure of Between Wyomings, the journey in which we participate with Mansfield. He is honest and opens himself to his audience, not holding back his failures or his successes. And, in the end, we learn with Mansfield what it means to be a whole person, where our past, our present and our God help pave the way for our future.

Purchase Between Wyomings here.

Theology Thursday 02 - Clean the Bowl

I do a lot of cooking at home and most of my meals can be contained within a single bowl. I like the convenience of everything fitting in one bowl so I make a lot of pasta, chicken and rice, eggs and rice, sausage and rice; basically anything with rice. There is one bowl in particular out of which I enjoy eating; the bowl is bigger than a normal bowl so everything stays in the bowl without spilling over the sides and it’s blue and manly. I frequently use this bowl, sometimes twice in one day, so I’m always washing it by hand. I was washing the bowl the other day and I realized I was spending a lot of time cleaning the outside of the bowl. I thought how stupid it was to clean the outside of the bowl since most of the time should be spent cleaning the inside of the bowl, where the food actually goes. Then I thought about what Jesus had to say about cleaning the inside and not just the outside. I know that whole story sounds contrived and made up, like a comedian saying, “So I was at the mall…” just to set up a joke. It’s not a contrived story; I really was washing the bowl and then thought about Jesus. I’m such a church nerd.

The problem with being a church nerd or a leader in the church is that Jesus saved most of his harshest criticism for those people, for the ones on the inside, for the religious ones. Here is some of what Jesus had to say.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.” – Matthew 23:25-26

The religious leaders of Jesus’ day were far more concerned with their outer appearance than their inner lives; just like I was more concerned about the outside of my bowl than the inside. Jesus’ words push me to examine whether or not I really care about my inner life or if I just want people to see the outside and think that I’ve got it all together. It’s easy to fall into that trap, to focus on our outer appearance instead of our inner life. We want people to like us. We want people to think we’re good. We want people to think we’re admirable. If we’re just cleaning the outside, though, it’s a façade; it’s just a mask. Jesus calls people like that whitewashed tombs: clean on the outside but full of death on the inside. If we really want to live admirable lives, Jesus says to clean the inside first and then the outside will be clean as well.

Our inner lives need to be changed to really influence our outer lives. We need to examine our inner lives and those places that need to be deep cleaned. Addictions, anger, unforgiveness, habitual patters of sin; these are the things that need to be cleaned. Cleaning the outside does nothing to address these deeper issues. If they go unaddressed, eventually the façade will falter, the mask will crack and our unchanged inner lives will match our unchanged outer lives. We need to be honest with ourselves and honest with a trusted friend about the dirt on the inside. Acknowledging that something is dirty is the first step to getting it clean.

Most everyone wants to look good. I want people to like me. I want people to think I’m good. I want people to think I’m admirable. However, having a pristine outer appearance with a decaying inner life isn’t admirable and perhaps, more importantly, it isn’t healthy. God created us to be whole, complete people without any fractures and dissonance between our inner and outer lives. God wants to do an amazing work within us, transforming us on the inside so we can go outside and transform the world.

When have you cleaned something in your inner life and how did affect your outer life?

Leadership Wednesday 02 - Disciplined Leadership

I’m looking into getting ordained by Transformation Ministries, one of the denominations with which our church has affiliation. I was going over some of the paperwork today and there is a long list of requirements. There are recommendations that need to be filled out by pastors, I need to get the transcripts of my grades from Fuller Theological Seminary, I have to score at least an 85% on a Biblical knowledge exam and I have to agree with and sign a bunch of different covenants and doctrinal statements. One of the documents I have to sign is the “Leadership Covenant of Ethical Behavior”; acknowledging that, as a Christian leader, I will act accordingly. If I sign the document, I am committing “my thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors to represent Christ through the following disciplines of my calling.” I thought I’d highlight some of these disciplines and reflect upon them.

Leadership

By His grace and Spirit, I will lead God’s people with the spiritual authority which issues from a servant heart, godly character, and gifted performance. I will develop disciples of Christ and empower spiritual leaders for the Kingdom. (II Timothy 2:2)

Spiritual authority really does come from the heart of a servant. The most effective leaders with whom I’ve interacted are the ones who are willing to serve. Unfortunately not everyone shares the same servant-leader mentality outlined in the scriptures and modeled by Jesus. For some the allure of leadership is the ability to tell others what to do, to lead from a position of authority rather than from a posture of humility. If we truly want to be effective leaders we need to understand what it means to lead from a posture of humility; we have to seek out ways of placing the needs of our followers above our own and bend over backwards to serve them in everything that we do. Jesus changed the world by leading as a servant-leader; what kind of impact could that leadership have on our organization or ministry?

Purity and Integrity

I will conduct myself with sexual purity and integrity whether I am married or single. If married, in covenant faithfulness I will, in my thoughts, words, and deeds, love and respond toward my spouse as Christ loves and responds to me. If single, I will commit myself to celibacy until I enter marriage. I will not neglect my family: I will express my love for them in my time, attention, affection, and respect.

One of the most interesting aspects of this discipline is the focus on not neglecting the family. I have heard too many stories of leaders in ministry who focus so much on their ministry that they lose sight of their homes. These leaders would never think of cheating on their spouses but sometimes ministry becomes the mistress which calls them away in the middle of the night and consumes them even on vacation. The struggle with being in ministry leadership is that ministry is a lifestyle, it’s not a regular 9-5 job which can be turned off once we leave the office. However, even though ministry is unique, it still needs to subject itself to the family. Fortunately I haven’t really had to struggle with what this looks like yet but, when I have a family, I hope I can stay faithful to them and not be led astray by the mistress of ministry.

Facing my Failures

I will risk exposing my own flaws and shortcomings as a fellow learner among the saints. When I fall short of this covenant, I will confess my sin, repent and depend on God’s grace for healing and restoration. If such failure brings shame upon Christ, the church, or my marriage, I will withdraw from the ministry and place myself under the care of appropriate counseling and pastoral leaders until such time as it is deemed advisable by Transformation Ministries for me to return to professional leadership. (James 5:16; I Timothy 4:19-20)

How many times have we seen the moral failings of pastors become top headlines? How many of us can tell the story of a pastor caught having an affair and the damage it had upon a church and a congregation? I’m sure that none of them ever began their ministry thinking that they would like to destroy it by having an extra-marital affair; I just don’t think that’s part of anybody’s 10 or 20-year plan. Yet it continually happens and congregations and other believers on the outside are left wondering what happened. None of us wake up in the morning deciding that we want to have a major moral failure; that kind of failure is a process, a slippery slope, which takes place over time. Avoiding the major failure involves confessing the minor failures which, if unchecked, will eventually lead to the major failure. Accountability and confession need to be part of every leader’s life, as we admit where we’ve fallen short and seek forgiveness which leads to repentance.

Leadership is a choice which takes a lot of discipline: discipline to serve others, discipline to maintain purity and discipline to be honest about our flaws. Sometimes I wish that leadership was just about making big decisions and garnering the praise of others; there’s something attractive about always being in the limelight before an adoring audience. That’s not real leadership, though. That kind of leadership doesn’t garner any lasting influence and, therefore, doesn’t bring about any lasting change. Real leadership takes effort and can be a little messy, which is why it requires a tremendous amount of discipline. And, if we are disciplined and faithful, God will bless our work and we can be the ones leading people to praise God for what he has done.

What leadership discipline have you seen the most growth in over the past 12 months?

Topical Tuesday 02 - Jerry Jones

The Dallas Cowboys are allegedly America’s team, a moniker granted in the 70s which, for some inexplicable reason, has carried over into today. As America’s team, it would seem only fitting, that they should build a shining example of America’s unbelievable extravagance and dangerous opulence. The new Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, TX cost an estimated $1.2 billion to build; one…point…two…billion…dollars. I’ve seen it from a distance and it is a massive structure that somewhat resembles a giant marshmallow. The stadium seats 80,000 people, has a retractable roof and is the largest domed structure in the world; truly, everything is bigger in Texas.

The massive scale of the stadium also includes the video screen which is suspended in the middle of the stadium. The screen is a Mitsubishi high definition television which measures in at 160 feet wide and 72 feet tall. I’m sure that the screen is a sight to behold and provides a crystal clear view of what is happening on the field. The only problem, though, is that the screen is too low and can easily be hit by a punt. In the first game at the new Cowboys Stadium, the Tennessee Titans’ punter A.J. Trapasso hit the screen while punting the ball during the game. Football coaches and analysts agree that the screen needs to be raised but the owner of the Cowboys, Jerry Jones, disagrees.

Jerry Jones is the 66-year-old owner of the Dallas Cowboys. He is a polarizing figure in sports, mainly due to his hands-on approach with the team. Not only is Jones the owner but he is also the general manager, making all the personnel decisions for the team. Some have suggested that Jones is too involved with the team but he is the owner and he does what he wants; and he does not want to take responsibility for the height of the screen in Cowboys Stadium. Jones says that it isn’t his fault that the screen is too low, the NFL approved the design and he’s not going to change it; he’s not to blame and he won’t take responsibility. After spending $2.1 billion on the stadium, he is not willing to spend $2 million to make the correction. Jones is stubborn and the only thing less likely to change is the expression on his face.

I’ve never made a $2 million mistake. In spite of that, it’s still hard to admit when I’m wrong; it’s still hard to admit that I’m sorry. To this day, apologizing is one of the most difficult things for me to do. Unfortunately for me, an ability to humble ourselves and admit when we’re wrong stands at the center of what it means to live our lives for Christ. We have to be willing to admit when we’re wrong, ask forgiveness and reconcile broken relationships.

In the Sermon on the Mount, in Matthew 5, Jesus says this:

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift."

When we’ve wronged someone we need to seek him or her out; Jesus says that we shouldn’t wait. We should strive to live in such a way as not to wrong anyone but, when we inevitably do, we need to be ready and willing to admit we’re wrong and make things right. Honestly, admitting we’re wrong sucks; there is no better way to put it, but we need to be willing to do it. The ability to admit we’re wrong and seek forgiveness is a sign of maturity and humility. It’s a sign which says we are more willing to sacrifice our pride for a relationship than to sacrifice a relationship for our pride.

Who knows how the Cowboys Stadium situation will be resolved. Before its conclusion there will be a lot of posturing and a lot of trying to save face, something with which Jerry Jones is very familiar. A $2 million mistake is a big one and I’m sure it’s very hard to admit to making such a colossal blunder. Thankfully, most of us will never make a mistake that big. But even in our small mistakes and our little offenses, we need to be willing to do the right thing and admit that we’re wrong. We need to find those we’ve wronged, admit our folly and seek forgiveness.

When have you admitted you were wrong and how did it affect a relationship?