Topical Tuesday 22 - Honeymoon Checklist

Alycia and I were in Puerto Vallarta in Mexico for our honeymoon last week. Unbeknownst to us, Mexicana Airlines was facing complications from a bankruptcy and buyout, complications that eventually forced them to suspend all air travel. Fortunately for us, we flew on Alaska Airlines and wouldn’t have been trapped in Puerto Vallarta for an extended honeymoon. The situation did start me thinking about what we would have needed had our honeymoon been forcibly extended. So here is a completely PG list of what we would have needed on a longer honeymoon.

Books

Alycia and I have already turned into an old married couple and spent a lot of our honeymoon reading books. After all the busyness and insanity leading up to the wedding, both of us were more than content to sit and relax by reading. I brought four books with me to Puerto Vallarta and finished all four over the course of the week. Granted, three of them were Narnia books, but I still made it through them rather quickly. Without another book or two to read, Alycia and I would have had a lot of awkward moments of sitting and staring at each other.

Underwear

It is really humid in Puerto Vallarta, like really humid. Even in our room everything was always just a little damp, nothing was ever completely dry. So when we were outside in the heat and humidity I was sweating through my underwear and undershirts, not feeling so fresh and so clean (so fresh and so clean, clean). To make matters worse I also spent some time on the treadmill every day; after getting off the treadmill I looked like I had been competing in a wet t-shirt contest.

Pepto Bismal

The food at the resort was good, so good that I probably ate way more of it than I should have. After five days of eating large meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner, my stomach started to reject me. It’s as if he said to me, “You’ve been shoving too much greasy, fatty food into me for five straight days, and that doesn’t even include all the Pedro’s Tacos from the weekend. Now, because of that, I’m exacting my revenge. Enjoy the cramps and time spent in the bathroom.” My stomach was mean and spiteful but, in his defense, my diet had consisted of beans, tortillas, cheese, meat and meat wrapped in meat.

Movies

Being the old married couple that we are, Alycia and I also spent a lot of time watching movies in our room. We watched Coraline, The Hurt Locker and Saving Private Ryan. The resort had movies to check out but most of them were more along the lines of Sex and the City than The Hurt Locker. Had we known that we were going to be watching movies, we could have packed some of our own. We could have brought great movies that Alycia hasn’t seen, like The Usual Suspects, or movies that are always good for a watch, like A Knight’s Tale.

Let’s be honest, I’m just upset that I didn’t bring Can’t Hardly Wait.

Sunglasses

I own like four pairs of sunglasses (down from the eight I used to own), but somehow I managed to not bring a single pair. Let’s think about this, I didn’t bring a pair of sunglasses to the beach. That’s like not bringing a bride to a wedding, not just like it but almost. So I was without sunglasses at our beach resort with the sun shining down upon white sand. The worst part about not having sunglasses wasn’t the bright sunlight, but the inability to inconspicuously stare at Europeans and wonder why on earth they would wear Capri pants.

Music Monday 26 - Our Wedding Music

I haven’t posted a new blog since May 17. In the months leading up to our wedding, I was losing brain function at an alarming rate; unfortunately, what brain power I had left, needed to be reserved for things like my job and planning a wedding. Now that I’m happily married, though, I feel my brain coming back to me. So, in the words of Eminem, guess who’s back?

I did get married recently and I certainly don’t plan on every subsequent post to be about either our wedding or marriage. But since I’ve already discussed wedding songs, I thought I might spend some time reflecting on our wedding music and why we chose certain songs.

Procession of the Bride

Alycia and I had a difficult time selecting the song to which she would walk down the aisle. Neither of us wanted something traditional like the wedding march or “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring”. I thought that Billy Idol’s “White Wedding” would be a good selection but Alycia disagreed; I think it was a sign, though, that we should have chose that song when we saw The Wedding Singer on our honeymoon. We eventually decided upon Norah Jones’ “Come Away With Me”. Alycia and I both like jazz and I had always felt that “Come Away With Me” was one of the most romantic songs ever. Sure, it doesn’t have the blatant romance of “My Heart Will Go On” or “Teenage Dream”, but I’ll always think about my bride walking down the aisle when I hear “Come Away With Me”, and that’s all right with me.

Recessional

If our decision for the procession was difficult, our decision for the recessional was contentious. Before we even began dating, I told Alycia that I wanted the throne room song from the end of Star Wars played as my wife and I walked back down the aisle. In my mind I couldn’t understand why Alycia wouldn’t want that song, especially when I wanted it so badly and she didn’t really care. While it was a contentious and difficult decision, it provided a great illustration for a sermon and we eventually decided together upon “Where the Streets Have No Name”. U2 is my favorite band and “Where the Streets Have No Name” is my favorite song ever, so my musical inclinations were still satisfied. It was great to hold my wife’s hand for the first time and walk back down the aisle as the intro built; it truly was a celebratory moment.

First Dance

In our minds we both had images of a well choreographed first dance. With that in mind, we selected “The Best is Yet to Come” by Michael Bublé. We thought it would be a good song to dance to and wow all of our guests with our dancing prowess. Unfortunately, even though we had some choreographed steps, we lacked the time necessary to practice. So our beautifully planned dance dissolved into something akin to Kate Gosselin’s appearance on Dancing with the Stars; unlike her, though, we’re still not crazy. So instead of a tightly choreographed dance, we had a stumbling, bumbling shuffle across the dance floor, full of laughs and smiles, mercifully cut short by the DJ.

If you're married, what songs did you select for your wedding? If you're not married, what songs would you like played at your wedding?

Music Monday 25 - In the Club

Lady GaGa. Kylie Minogue. Jamiroquai. Cascada. Tiesto. ABBA. I really like all these groups and artists because I really like dance music. I like the beat, the electronic production and the general upbeat attitude. However, as much as I like dance music, I really can’t stand the club scene, like at all.

I just got back from Las Vegas, which has shed the family friendly persona it created in the 90s and embraced its hedonistic, sex-driven persona. This current persona has been partially built on the burgeoning club scene. Clubs like Pure, LAX, Tryst and Jet have become the places to be in Vegas. And while I love Vegas as much as anyone I know, I can’t understand the fascination with the club scene and culture; it has never appealed to me.

In spite of this complete lack of a desire to go to a club, I have a strong desire to listen to music played inside of clubs. There’s nothing better than cruising around town on a summer day, windows down, loudly playing something with a good beat. Dance music is intended to be played in a club, while people dance or wait to enter the club. Like an animal that thrives outside of its natural environment, though, dance music has found a home on my iPod and in my truck. I can’t explain it. I just know that Lady GaGa while I’m driving makes me happy. The thought of Lady GaGa in a club makes me sick to my stomach.

How do you feel about dance music outside of a club?

Music Monday 24 - Created to Create

One of my very good friends, Luke, just released an EP last week. As I listened to the EP I was blown away by the music he had written, performed and recorded. The EP is his creation, from beginning to end. Obviously Luke had help and people who participated in the project, but he created it.

I’m not very musically inclined. I have no idea how to create anything musical. I wouldn’t even know where to begin with writing a song or creating a piece of music. My musical inability isn’t a new reality, it is just brought into starker contrast as I listen to something created by a friend I’ve known since high school.

Humans have been created in the image of God and God is a creator. It only makes sense that we should create; music is a great expression of that creativity. I envy those who can create music; I wish I could create something as powerful and beautiful as music. However, even if we’re not musically inclined, we have still been created to create, whether that’s with words, images, thoughts or ideas.

Download Luke’s EP here.

Theology Thursday 17 - Walk of Shame?

Last week at Catalyst Reggie Joiner spoke about the prodigal son. I’ve obviously heard the story before, I even taught from it a few weeks ago. Joiner asked a question about the story, though, that I had never thought about. He asked: what if the older brother had met the prodigal before the father?

The story would be completely different. Instead of exemplifying love and forgiveness, the story would exemplify fear and rejection. Instead of returning home amidst celebration and grace, the prodigal probably would have turned back around, carrying away more shame and regret than he had arrived with.

Joiner’s question challenged me to examine my own life and ministry. When prodigals meet me or come to our ministry, are they meeting the loving father or the judging brother?

I know that I have experienced grace, but is my life a conduit for that same grace to others?

I know that I have been accepted into the family of God, but is our ministry accepting of any and all?

Does my life make prodigals want to celebrate or walk away in shame?

I haven’t fully thought through what this means for my life and ministry. At this point, however, I know that I don’t want to be the older brother. I want my life to lead to celebrations of grace not walks of shame.

Who in your life, because of their acceptance and love, has caused a celebration grace?

Leadership Wednesday 18 - Lead Apologizer

I hate apologizing but it’s a skill leaders must learn. A few times in my life I have had to apologize to students for my behavior. It is a terrible feeling knowing that I have reacted to a student is such a way as to warrant an apology. I tell students every week how they should strive to live like Jesus, that his way is the best way to live. Inevitably I fail to reach that standard and sometimes I miss the mark when interacting with students.

When that happens, when I miss the mark and I offend a student, I need to practice the skill of apologizing. I hope to hurt or offend students as little as possible, but when I do, I have to be willing to apologize. If the students can’t see me, their pastor, making every attempt to reconcile a broken relationship, then I’m not much of a leader. This goes beyond simply practicing what I preach; this involves not only leading when I’m right, but leading when I know I’m wrong. And very often, leading when I’m wrong, involves admitting when I’m wrong and apologizing.

How does apologizing impact your leadership?

Topical Tuesday 21 - Famous to the Famous One

I went to Catalyst last week, a leadership conference for next generation leaders. There were a few highlights from the conference that will likely show up in future posts, but today I want to focus on something I heard during one of the lab sessions.

I went to a lab titled “Off the Blogs – Into the World,” which focused on allowing what happens within virtual conversations to positively impact the actual world. The speakers at the lab were Anne Jackson, Carlos Whitaker and Jon Acuff. Jon Acuff writes the blog Stuff Christians Like and is someone who I admire; I like his writing and how he created a platform for himself. Acuff shared a little of his story and how the rise in popularity of his blog pushed him one night to ask God for fame. Acuff felt that God responded by telling him that he was already famous; the God of the universe knows Acuff’s name so what other notoriety does he need?

I know that this blog isn’t going to make me famous; it’s really more about the exercise and personal practice. That doesn’t mean, though, that I don’t want to be famous; I would love for people to know my name and desire to hear my thoughts and ideas. But God already knows my name.

God has known me since before I was born.

God has known me since before I wrote my first blog.

God has known me since before I posted my first podcast.

God already knows me and that should be enough. God already knows me and loves me; he’s passionate about me and is waiting for me to turn my thoughts and focus to him. Why should I care if thousands want to listen to me talk if the creator of the universe is just waiting for me to talk to him?

I don’t need to chase after fame; I need to chase after the Famous One.

How do you respond knowing that God thinks you’re famous?